The Adventures of Daniel Kwan

Just a quick post and then I’m off to bed. To save time, my Chinese translation for tonight will be done in Pinyin.

Xiě yīdiǎn ránhòu qù shuìjiào. Wèi le shěn shíjiān, jīntiān wǎnshàng wǒ yòng Pīnyīn.

Went to Bulldog Pub Friday night. It was pretty meh.

Lǐbài wǔ wǎnshàng qù le Bulldog Pub. Méijìn.

Did laundry on Saturday and tried to catch up on news.

Lǐbài liù xǐ le yīfú háiyǒu catch up on xīnwén.

Sunday went karting with Jenn (and set a new personal record: 38.43 sec!), then Burmese massage with her and Lisa. It was wonderful!

Lǐbài tiān hé Jenn qù kāi kǎdīng chē (uhh buhuì fānyì zhèxiē…: 38.43s!), ránhòu hé tā háiyǒu Lisa qù Miǎndiàn ànmó. Shuāng!

Good night.

Wǎn’ān.

I just read a forum post where several expats in Shanghai were saying that 10,000 RMB per month is not enough for an expat to live here comfortably. That 10K RMB pay is on top of what’s typically included in an expat package (rent and flights home paid for, sometimes more).

So I did a bit of calculation of my own to see what my monthly cost of living is like. Here’s a breakdown.

» CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE

I had a great time in Hong Kong! I could write about my trip, but I don’t want to spend days on translation so I’ll just show you pics. Enjoy!

我喜欢香港！我不想花好几天翻译所以就让你们看照片吧。请慢用！

» CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE

I’m going to Hong Kong tomorrow. Will be back in Shanghai Friday lah.

我明天去香港。星期五回来上海。

Photo by terrosa.

Was browsing through ShanghaiExpat’s forums today and found this gem. I’ll attempt to translate it into Chinese.

hi, my name is mike, a chinese man, 34, i am here to find a forgein woman who likes to hang out with me, or have a sex if it’s alright for her.

你好，我叫MIKE，中国人，三十四岁。我希望在这里找一个外国女人陪我逛逛，或者上床如果她愿意。

to be perfectly honest i am married, my wife is studying abroad…

说实话，我是一个已婚男子。我的妻子在国外学习。

sex is not the only thing i can think of, in fact, i am really into american english, i would love to have female friends only for this purpose, and i could teach her chinese as a reward.

我不是只想到上床。其实，我很喜欢美国英语，我也很希望只为这个目的交女性朋友。作为回报我可以教她中文。

if you are interested, send a message to —

如果感兴趣，发送邮件到－－－。

(To English learners, this guy’s grammar is poor so don’t use this post to learn English.)

After receiving some mockery:

your westerns seem like much opener? i guess i am damned wrong, cheating sucks, can we forget about the sex part?

我以为你们西方人非常开放。原来我错了。作弊是不好。我们能不能把上床那部分忘了吧?

but i am not a bad man, believe it or not, you wouldn’t regret to meet me if you still wanted to, i mean, for language learning part

我不是一个坏人，相信与否。如果你还有兴趣与我会面，你不会后悔的。我意思是为了学习语言那部分。

But of course the beating continues. Enjoy! Actually I feel they went pretty easy on him.

Today’s lesson: “Hang out with me, or have a sex” is not a good pickup line!

My coworker though I finished translating our company booklet from Chinese to English in only a few days. The truth is I paid my friend to do it. Why did I do that? Because she’s much better than me at translating. See the above pic? She frickin’ translated it on her blog!

我的同事以为我几天就把公司样本翻译成英文了。其实是我朋友翻译得。为什么给她翻译？因为我想让最好的译者翻译公司的样本。你看上面的图片。她居然把它翻译成英文！

Love is like defecation,
you can’s stop it when it comes.
Love is like defecation,
when flushes, it would never come back.
Love is like defecation,
it’s different every time.
Love is like defecation,
Great effort sometimes only ends up in a fart.

Cool huh? Original post is here.

还不错, 对不啦？原来的在这。

Lately access to my site has been incredibly slow again, hence the lack of updates.

最近我的网站又非常的慢，所以更新比较少。

Last Wednesday to Friday was this year’s China International Hardware Show at the Shanghai New International Expo Center.

上周三至周五是今年的那个中国国际什么什么展览会，在上海新国际博览中心。

Our booth, which I helped design.我帮忙设计的展位。

The guy behind the iMac at the office.躲在公司的iMac后面的人。

Our hardworking Japanese translator.我们勤劳的日语译者。

Ah, sustenance!啊，能源食物！

After the foreigners had left, it was okay to litter again.外国人走了后又可以随便扔垃圾了。

Good night.

晚安。

I just came back from getting my first Burmese full body massage. I had no idea what I was getting into and don’t want to spoil it for those who’ve never done it, but it was quite an experience! It started out a little weird and ticklish, and then got progressively more bizarre and hilarious. I tried not to laugh but at one point I just couldn’t hold it in. Anyway, I highly recommend it!

I’m gonna translate my new blog posts into Chinese, starting with this one. If you can read Chinese, please excuse (and maybe correct) any mistakes. Thanks.

我刚从我第一次去缅甸全身按摩回来。一个字：爽！ 就这样。不想翻译了。想睡觉。晚安。

This past weekend I experienced a number of firsts.

Saturday

I rode on a motorcycle for the first time in China. Actually, it was my first time on a motorcycle ever! I didn’t even realize it until I started thinking, “Hmm, this feels new. What is this feeling?” It was great! I want a motorcycle.

Saturday night

I went to a lesbian club for the first time. Once again I didn’t immediately realize it was a first, because nobody told me it was a lesbian bar and a lot of the girls there looked like guys. Jenn and I were surprised to see our friend there. Well, not that surprised.

Later that night

I went to a gay club for the first time. Pretty hilarious. It was hosting a BDSM-themed event (called “Spank!”). Many people were walking around in leather and flogging random people. I got flogged a few times, not voluntarily!

Sunday

I invited people over to my current place for the first time. That won’t be happening often since I’m far from most people. Jenn made this soup (I forget the name) and, oh yeah her dog! She brought her dog, Teddy! He’s super cute! And friendly! I took a bunch of photos of him.

And that was my weekend.