The Adventures of Daniel Kwan

Below is a transcript of Barack Obama’s victory speech.

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Our next President of the United States: Barack Obama!

(Image from barackobama.com.)

People say the stupidest things when talking about cars or photography.

Ugh.

A robot’s memory wouldn’t be screwed up like this.

Read about it here:

By the end of the day, Clinton was making a joke of her ordeal: “I made a mistake. That happens. It proves I’m human, which, you know, for some people is a revelation.”

It also proves she’s a woman. Har har just kidding. Sort of.

Found the video through phuckdrifting.com/photos-of-the-day, a website that should be avoided by those with virgin ears.

Update: Maybe she wasn’t lying? Check out this video.

I knew I’d get some interesting results if I search for “Chop Suey lip sync” on YouTube. (For those who don’t know, Chop Suey is a song by the rock band System of a Down.) This ghetto Chop Suey’s the best, especially towards the end.

This one’s cute.

And this fobby one’s just embarrassing.

OMG why am I Asian WHY?!??

I guess I gave Cowboy Bebop its 2/5 rating a bit prematurely last time, after watching only two episodes. I’m at episode 9 out of 26 now, and as far as I can tell there’s still no plot, but there’s Faye Valentine, and that’s good enough for me. (Finally a hot anime chick that doesn’t make me a pedophile!) Bumping Cowboy Bebop up to 3/5.

Maybe I should give Naruto a chance too. … Nah.

I just realized there’s a Cowboy Bebop movie. Here’s a clip of Faye, wawaweewah! I like!

I’m back in California. On my way back from Shanghai, I had to stop by Narita International Airport (in Tokyo). I love airports in general but man, Narita Airport is cool! Check out this tunnel I had to go through.

The other side of the tunnel was creepy. I should have taken some pics, but just imagine yourself in this futuristic-looking place with a bunch of glass and escalators. And you’re the only person there. Occasionally there’d be two or three people who walk by, but they remain completely silent.

I went to the main lobby area that connects to all the flight gates, and again very few people. The only sound there was this toy bear beating on a drum. It was weird. Gradually a lot more people showed up and everything was normal. But while the place was empty it was totally strange.

I wonder if Narita International was really all in my head. The plane I took from Shanghai to Tokyo was a B777. From Tokyo to SFO I was again on a B777. Maybe it was the same B777, and I never got off the plane. You know how Japan is years ahead in technology. Maybe all the passengers were put to sleep and sent to a virtual airport while some secret government agency collected data from our brains. And a glitch in their virtual world software caused the airport to be eerily empty. When a system admin realized this, he started putting in virtual people.

They were afraid that the passengers would be on to them, so they cut their mission short and quickly placed the passengers back in their seats. But they did a sloppy job. That’s why my three hours at Narita felt like no more than an hour when all I did was walk around. That’s why I was in a different seat when I flew from Narita to SFO. That’s why the airport restrooms were spotless and odorless. That’s why everybody was unbearably polite. That’s why the above photos are digital. Nothing was real!

Kimochi warui.

I started watching anime series a few months ago. I’ve watched some on and off in the past but never an entire series, except for Golden Boy which only has six episodes. Not sure why I decided to start again but I chose only those that were well drawn and ranked high on ratings lists. My opinions and ratings of the shows in the order I watched them:

Golden Boy
About a perverted guy (okay a regular guy) who has a different job every episode, meets chicks and gets horny. That’s basically it, but it’s hella funny. (4/5)

Naruto
This show about child ninjas is super popular so I started watching it, but it’s stupid. It’s clearly for little kids, like 7-year-olds. I watched about four episodes and couldn’t take any more. (2/5)

Fullmetal Alchemist
Set in a world where people use alchemy, especially the military, these two kids tried to bring their dead mother back to life and failed. The story goes on from there. Very interesting, and I liked it until I watched the awful movie. (4/5)

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
This eccentric high school girl, who doesn’t know she has a special power, starts a club for finding mysteries or something. I guess this show is cute, and it kept me interested enough to watch through all 14 episodes, but afterwards it felt like a waste of time. (3/5)

Neon Genesis Evangelion
Even though it went from a giant robot flick to total abstract psycho weirdness, the characters, backstories, psychology, politics and everything make this a compelling series. And it’s the best anime series I’ve watched so far. I’m glad they’re remaking it into movies right now. (5/5)

Cowboy Bebop
It’s about bounty hunters and has spaceships so I should like it, but I’ve watched two episodes so far and I’m bored. Is there gonna be a plot later on? This anime’s supposed to be a classic but it has the most uninteresting chase and fight scenes, and no story so far. (2/5) (3/5) [Update.]

On my to watch list: Great Teach Onizuka, Ghost in the Shell.

This is the most pointless post because if you’re an Indiana Jones fan, you already know the teaser trailer for Crystal Skull debuted yesterday. And if you’re not an Indy fan, you probably don’t care.

But if for some reason you are a fan and you didn’t know the trailer’s out, well, the trailer’s out! I see that secret U.S. warehouse from the end of Raiders where the Ark of the Covenant was stored. Sweet.

My favorite activities with Lisa.

• Eat.
• Make fun of others.
• Watch movies.

Lisa’s favorite activities with me.

• Drink coffee.
• Listen to talk radio.
• Play The Sims 2.

Feel free to affix whatever you affix to fortune cookies.